The Bible permits divorce, but it is not God’s ideal. Jesus and the Apostle Paul provide specific reasons for divorce and remarriage, which are different from modern societal views.
Divorce in the Old Testament 📜
In the Old Testament, the primary text on divorce is Deuteronomy 24:1-4. This passage describes a man giving his wife a certificate of divorce if he “finds some indecency” in her. This was a legal provision that protected the woman from being unjustly cast out without a document, which would allow her to remarry. However, the exact meaning of “some indecency” (ervat davar in Hebrew) has been a long-standing debate among Jewish scholars. Some interpreted it broadly to mean any fault, while others interpreted it narrowly to mean sexual immorality. This disagreement sets the stage for the New Testament’s clarification.
Divorce in the New Testament 🕊️
Jesus directly addresses the issue of divorce in Matthew 19:3-9. When asked about the Old Testament law, he points back to God’s original design in Genesis 2:24, stating that God’s intention was for a man and woman to become “one flesh” and for marriage to be indissoluble. He then states that “what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
However, Jesus provides one specific exception, often called the “exception clause.” He says, “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
- Sexual Immorality: The Greek word Jesus uses is porneia. This is a broader term than just adultery (moicheia), and it can refer to various forms of sexual sin, including premarital or extramarital unfaithfulness. The exception clause in Matthew’s Gospel is considered the primary biblical reason for a justified divorce.
The Apostle Paul also addresses divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. He instructs believers not to divorce, but provides another exception for believers married to non-believers.
- Desertion: If an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the marriage, the believing spouse is “not enslaved” and is free to separate. This is often referred to as the “Pauline privilege” and is considered another biblical reason for divorce.
Remarriage 💍
The biblical stance on remarriage is directly tied to the reasons for the divorce.
- Yes, with Biblical Grounds: If a divorce occurs for the reasons Jesus or Paul outlined (sexual immorality or desertion by an unbelieving spouse), then remarriage is permitted. In these cases, the person is not considered to be committing adultery by remarrying.
- No, without Biblical Grounds: If a person divorces their spouse for any reason other than the biblical exceptions and then remarries, Jesus states that they commit adultery. In this situation, the Bible’s view is that the original marriage covenant is still in effect.
In summary, the Bible’s teaching on divorce is not a blanket prohibition, but a high standard that allows for it only in specific, limited circumstances that are a violation of the marriage covenant. In such cases, remarriage is biblically permissible.
What about Abuse?
The Bible does not explicitly use the word “abuse” in the way we understand it today (physical, emotional, or verbal), but it provides principles and commands that condemn abusive behavior and offer a pathway for protection.
1. The Call to Love and Self-Sacrifice 💖
The New Testament’s teachings on marriage directly contradict any form of abuse. The foundational command for husbands is to love their wives with a selfless, sacrificial love, mirroring Christ’s love for the Church.
- Ephesians 5:25 states, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Christ’s love was nurturing, protective, and self-giving—the complete opposite of abuse.
- Colossians 3:19 commands, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” This verse directly prohibits cruel or rough treatment.
These passages create a framework for marriage based on mutual respect, honor, and care, making any form of abuse a violation of God’s design.
2. The Prohibition of Violence and Harm 🚫
Throughout the Bible, violence against innocent people is consistently condemned. While not specific to marriage, these principles apply to all relationships, especially the most intimate ones.
- Proverbs 3:31 warns against violence: “Do not envy a man of violence and do not choose any of his ways.”
- Psalm 11:5 states that God “hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.”
These passages make it clear that a person who is violent or abusive is acting contrary to God’s character and commands.
3. The Protection of the Vulnerable 🛡️
God’s law consistently shows a special concern for the poor, the defenseless, and the vulnerable. In an abusive marriage, the victim is often in a position of vulnerability and needs protection.
- Psalm 82:3 says, “Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.”
- Proverbs 31:8-9 commands, “Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.”
These principles indicate that the community and church have a responsibility to protect victims of abuse. In situations where a person’s physical or emotional safety is at risk, seeking physical separation is a valid and necessary step to ensure safety.
4. Divorce and Abuse 💔
While the Bible allows for divorce only in limited circumstances (such as sexual immorality or desertion), many theologians and Christian counselors argue that abuse is a form of spiritual or emotional desertion. An abusive spouse has already broken the marital covenant through their destructive behavior, and a victim has a biblical right to seek a safe separation and, in some cases, divorce. The purpose of biblical marriage is to reflect God’s love, and a relationship characterized by abuse has already been broken beyond its intended purpose.